Time Machine

Today, I am blank, no thoughts, no confusions whatsoever. As I sit in this airport, thinking what to write, I have nothing. Literally nothing. Is that even possible ? I am surrounded by people, all colors, all sizes, just human beings… Well there is a dog too… so Why I am lost ? Have you felt suddenly you have vanished… Not literally unless you are in Harry Potter, where you walk into a wall and just disappear into a magical world. I vanished, because I feel like the flame in me is extinguished. No, I am not dead. No I am not in coma either. Just that the passion is gone. Phooff… just gone.

You may be wondering, what the heck is he talking about. You see I am a one touch pony. I did a speech competition, I didn’t win the finals, but finished third in semifinals. That should make me feel good right ? Yes it did. I felt god damn amazing. But deep inside my mind was the question "What next ?". I said to myself, I will just take a break… Guess what. it has been 8 months and I am still taking a break. Can you believe it ? I started thinking what happened ?

For that we have to stop, rewind and see my life. I just got lost in my comfort zone. I have a good job, amazing wife, wonderful son. You must be wondering, what is he complaining about then ? A lot of us have so much issues in life. True, but every one of us has some concerns in life, issues that brings us down, both physically and mentally. How do you compare one's sorrow to another ?

So now that we have got that part out, let us talk about this going blank. Have you ever had a moment or sometimes months in your life where you just get up, go to work, take care of kids, binge watch Netflix and then hit the bed. The next morning cycle repeats. It is like running in a treadmill, going nowhere but running all the time. Suddenly you are tired, you stop and look at the clock. You are in your 60s. You don’t realize what happened in the last 20 years. It just …. Went by.

I know what you are thinking, "you are in your 30s, how would you know". Well I have a time machine, which helped me to go to the future and look at myself. Yup we all have time machines, deep in our mind predicting our future. Just take a step back, pause and imagine what your future would be. You are the best person who can predict it. How does it look ? It is typically going to be one of the two: Like mine, meaningless, questionable. Or like a lot of you glorified, satisfied. For me some days it is one way, some days other. I started connecting the two. We all know what we want to become, just that we don’t realize it. When we put ourselves in the time machine and transport to our future, we can see what we will become and what we could become. For a lot of lucky ones here, they are the same. For others, it is a constant struggle to get from one to another.

I am struggling as of today, but this note to myself in front of you all is my first step from what I am to what I could. I am not an expert to give suggestions of what you could do. I am just documenting what I feel. The hope is just it may help somebody to stop , think and get into their time machine. Friends, if we have to be real, it is better to see the future today in the time machine rather than regret our past in the future.